Bilingual Jokes 英日冗談

[Jembru]

I'm not sure how well this will work, but I posted in the Japanese only section, about a silly joke JP made and thought as this kind of thing comes up a lot, it might be fun to start a thread for jokes that only people learning Japanese would find funny. I had a German friend who was very good at making jokes based on the differences between English and German, that you'd have to speak both languages to find funny (not that my German was good enough, so he usually had to explain the joke >.<), and it seems that JP and I are definitely not the only people who play about with the languages like this.

Here's the one from the other night for those who couldn't understand the Japanese version:

A few nights ago, JP and I were chatting in Japanese. I said something but because I got the particle wrong, he wasn't sure what I meant. I then corrected myself and he understood. He then said, 'You shouldn't mix particles Jem, that's how black holes start.'

Okay, not hilarious, but not bad for being made up on the spot like that!

So, does anyone one have any funny jokes for Japanese learners?

[Bokusenou]

Hmm, I'm not sure if this one is funny enough. When I was mixing up certain similar-sounding Japanese verbs , a fellow Japanese learner told me this joke:

A male gaijin gets on a Japanese train. On first glance, the seats are all filled. Then he spots an empty seat next to a beautiful woman. He opens his mouth and says "Sawattemo ii desu ka?".


I never mixed up those two verbs again.

(The joke, of course, is based off the one letter difference between 触る (sawaru, to touch), and 座る(suwaru, to sit) )

[魔]

The only Japanese joke I know..Although I wouldn't call it a joke is.... おはヨーグルト

It's おはよう with yogurt on the end.

This is where I learned it

I didn't catch it until I read one of the comments saying it was an old joke.　おはヨーグルト、ねたが古い


...

おやすみ＝いかすみ

そう、冗談でかえしたほうがいいのかなとおもって。

[MidoriAbby]

I don't know about mixtures of English and Japanese but I know a whole bunch of dajare/Japanese puns

Most of them are dorky things that happened at Japanese camp, like when my friend bought a cute panda-shaped anpan and proclamed "Pan da!" (which is about the most overused dajare in the book but whatever), or the slightly more clever 「何を待っているの？」「父が車で来るまで待ってます」(the kuruma de and kuru made sound the same) .... etcetera etcetera.

Also in Kansai-ben club one time we were making fun of the fact that when they say ありがとうさん instead of ありがとう, and I told the story of how for ages I thought it was an abbreviation of ありがとう、お父さん so when my friend from Kansai region said it to me one day I snorted and went お父さんなんかじゃないよ、あんた変でしょw (I'm not your dad or anything like that, you weirdo) and she started laughing so hard and telling me I was so clever at puns-- I didn't even realize it was a pun!! I legit thought it meant "thanks Dad" Because it sounded like Otousan! oh dear...

[Jembru]

MidoriAbby: We could maybe have a seperate thread for 親父ギャグ too. Living with JP, I could fill several pages in a week! His jokes are soooo bad. I swear he almost made one of our friends cry from the pain once!

Here's one for the pokemon fans..

I like to collect keyrings and phone charms.. things I can hang off books, bags and , well anything else that I can hang them from as a declaration of my refusal to grow up. While putting a coin in a machine to get a pokemon phone charm, I sang, 'Gacha-gacha'm all'.

Yeah, yeah... it just got cold in here...

(ガチャガチャ is what the Japanese call those machines. I have no idea what they're called in English though, maybe because they're not such a huge thing in the UK, like.. you don't get entire stores that are just those things here).

Oh and.. I got.. I don't know its name, but it's a little purple dog with red hair and red feet!

Oh and I just thought of another one. I can't claim this as my own, as I stole it from Alex from Learn Japanese Pod back in the days when content was free. When someone thanks me, I'll say, 'don't touch my mustache'. This is mean to sound kinda like 'どういたしまして'. It made me giggle back in my noob days, because I got the joke, and since then, well, it's just kinda stuck as a joke JP and I will still use now and then. 

[Bokusenou]

It's not just one joke but this is funnier if you know at least basic Japanese:

web.archive.org/web/20060710201156/http://www.nihongojouzu.com/2006/07/yokohama_japane.html

[Jembru]

I just made a real groaner!

You know this time of year, egg puns are rife right? Well, JP entered an easter egg competition today. He really wanted to win because he's been feeling a bit down lately and thought he could use a boost.

So I got a text earlier telling me he DID win!! To which I replied 'Yolk-katta ne' ^^

...I'm here all week...

[Jembru]

This isn't technically a bi-lingual joke but rather another example of JP and I abusing Japanese. Those who know us though skype chats may already know things like 'to do one's gambari-best', or 'hikouki-ude' (our version of 'banzai!'). Now we have taken the word でこぼこ (unevenness) and assigned to it the new meaning of 'something simultaneously awesome but unappealing'. Until now, we used the expression 'yeah but no' to describe such things (often stumbled upon on youtube.. like when something's so awesome that we instantly hate the person for being able to do it, or just too pathetic to be cool.). Why でこぼこ you ask? Well, you have to see it in kanji I guess..

凸(-_-)凹

By doing devil horns with the left hand and flipping the bird with the right.. you too can recreate でこぼこ right in the comfort of your own home.

I'll be very surprised if we're the first to come up with this...

[Jembru]

Just made a pun. Usually it's JP who makes the Japanese puns around here, so I'm proud of this one.

I had a pile of textbooks, notebooks my DS (that I bought an electronic notebook for), and my tablet that I only ever use for anki, on the dining table. I wanted to tell JP I'll clear these items away if he takes the dinner out of the oven, but couldn't think how to describe all this mis-matched study stuff (evidentally, I'm struggling in English too ^^). 勉強用物 oddly never crossed my mind, but would have been the most obvious.. the first thing to mind was 勉強具 I guess because of my obsession for Minecraft (具 comes up a lot in various forms while playing minecraft). But then.. keeping in mind I'm mid-sentence, the pause is getting longer, I'm thinking all this in a matter of seconds but it feels like forever... I suddenly blurt out べんきょうざい

I'd made my own little portmanteau of 勉強 and 教材

Job done mate, job done... ^^

Oh and.. if anyone tells me this IS a word.. I'll cry.

[chocopie]

勉強道具 and 勉強材料 are things but I haven't heard of 勉強材! Celebrate your pun!